I'm Positive but the Future Isn't
by PenguinBandit523
Summary: Robin has a secret he's kept since he was 13 years old, which now has to be revealed since he's leaving and he may not be coming back. Soon the whole city will know. Can people accept that a teen hero can make a mistake? Or will he forever be condemned for an uncontrollable mistake. Warning: Contains Adult themes and Language, and HIV/AIDS.


_**Warning: Adult themes, Language and HIV/AIDS**_

* * *

Robin had breathed a sigh of relief when he had gotten his brief case back. It contained not one, but many personal items that could have been used against him. If it had fallen into the wrong hands he could only hope that whoever had gotten it would not only be unable to identify the people of those in the pictures under anything other than the label of 'parents and son' - not a name to go with the face - but also that they would have overlooked that small dvd that was stored at the bottom of the case.

What was on it was not merely more family pictures - even home movies he may have been able to deal with; embarassment would end, eventually. No, this was something deeper, something that was too personal to even share with his team mates. Luckily they hadn't noticed the tiny disk either as he allowed them to view the pictures and such. They were oblivious... or perhaps they did notice and were just too grateful for being let in, even that much, to ask about it.

Either way, Robin was happy about not even having to bring it up, let alone explain. Until now that is.

Now he was getting sick.

Now the medication was not helping much.

Now he had to let them know that he may not be able to come back.

He had to let them in on one of the biggest secrets he had; next to his secret Identity.

He grabbed the dvd out of the case and left it on the table in the kitchen area with a note. It was early, no one else was up yet, but he knew Raven would be the first; she would alert the others and the whole thing would spiral from there.

He had to leave quickly. He could not be there when they saw it. He could not answer the questions he imagined they would ask. He needed to be at Gotham for his appointment.

He turned around, one last look at his home and the friends that he may never see again, and left.

* * *

Like Robin expected, Raven was the first one up - making tea and sitting down at the table to relax before the rest of her crazy team mates awakened and annoyed her.

She breathed in deeply, enjoying the sweet silence before glancing over at the out-of-place disk and paper. A brief flash of confusion passed her face before going back to its usual absense of emotion, and went over to investigate, picking up the note.

_Team,_

_I'm not really sure how to word this, but I would have an even harder time trying to say this in real life. I'll be blunt. _

_By the time you read this I should be gone, out of state, maybe even halfway to Gotham by now. I did not leave because of anything any of you did, in fact, I wish I __**didn't **__have to leave at all. But I've been expecting this for a while..._

_I can't explain why in this letter, I'm sorry. So I've left this video for you guys to watch, then you'll understand why I had to leave; how personal and terrifying this situation is for me because truthfully, I may not even be coming back. _

_Again, I know it's confusing but it'll all make sense once you watch the dvd. Please, PLEASE do not be upset with me. _

_I care about you guys, you're more than my team mates, you're my friends, my family even... and I would never want to hurt you guys, ever. _

_- Robin_

Raven just stared at the note in shock wondering what on earth was going on. Robin left. And the reason why lied with this little disk.

She ran off to wake the others.

* * *

Robin took his R-cycle and a change of clothes in a backpack, he could stop at Bruce's, change and take a car to the hospital. Both Bruce and Alfred knew about the situation and were pleasantly supportive throughout the entire ordeal. But he still had to leave not long after he found out, find another city, get away from both Bruce and Batman - he was afraid of holding either side of the man back.

He could not allow his guardian to spend all of his time worrying over him, this was his problem, he'd worry about himself, could prove that he could take care of himself.

He shook his head to rid his mind of these thoughts, they were depressing. The situation was depressing enough, a flame of despair that did not need anyore fuel added to the fire.

As he drove through the city and towards Gotham he never noticed the clever theif that had seen him take the route out of the state.

"That's interesting," the figure said to himself. "I wonder what the Boy Wonder was in such a rush. Maybe the rest of the Titans know what's going on".

So, the theif known as Red X, who clearly had nothing better to do, decided to find out.

* * *

"Dude, why didn't he ever **tell** us!"

Red X heard Beast Boy shout as soon as he neared the proximity, now he knew that they definitely had an idea of what was going on. He hid by the window, out of sight, but listening.

"Please, I agree with Beast Boy. Was this truely so horrible that Robin could not tell us sooner," she asked with naisily, heavy breathing. She clearly had been crying.

"It wouldn't have been easy Starfire," Raven told her gently. "It's not something that you could randomly bring up, nor would it really come up in conversation. Besides, there was nothing we could have done about it, it's not something that you can change and would have depressed you had you known about it sooner."

He heard the alien girl mumble something like 'you're right'.

"But why tell us on a dvd?" Cyborg spoke now. "I mean, I know it would have been hard to tell us to our faces but it would have been better. It would have felt like he cared more..."

"Robin did care!" Starfire interupted him.

"He did," Raven agreed. "We know he did. But we never would have let him leave had he stayed here to tell us."

There was a long silence, no one spoke, Red wasn't even sure they were breathing.

"So... what now?" Beast Boy asked the air.

Cyborg had an idea.

"I think Robin left us that extra communicator that linked to Batman, we could try to contact him. Maybe Robin is in that area, or even there, or... He's got to know what's going on."

They all agreed and headed into another room, X guessed to probably look for that communicator. Once it was clear, Red X opened the window and jumped through, looking for clues.

_'They said something about a dvd,'_ He remembered. He opened the dvd player and spotted a blank dvd, clearly just watched. This was a major clue, but was there anything else. He scanned the room and spotted a piece of paper. He walked over and read it.

_'Just what the hell was going on here?' _

He took the dvd and left. Time to see what this was all about.

* * *

He originally took the dvd home to try to watch it, but annoyingly enough his dvd player was on the fritz. Damn. Who's could he borrow...

No one that wouldn't insist on selling tickets. Oh well, as long as he got half of those profits.

* * *

"Really? This many people. I asked you in hopes of avoiding this. I don't even like most of these people," Red X grumbled to Billy Numerous.

The room was packed full of the Titans's enemys, all been told about and sold tickets to seeing whatever was on this dvd.

"Hey, relax. I told you I'd split the profits with you."

_'Preditable. Sadly, utterly, predictable.'_

"So Red, what's on the video?" SeeMore asked him.

"I don't know, didn't get to watch it yet. All I know is that something happened with Bird-boy, or at least something bad _is happening _to him. Whatever it was everyone was upset that he didn't 'tell them sooner' and that he left so suddenly."

Silence.

"I bet $20 that he's gay and ran off with a secret little gay boyfriend," Johnny Rancid said to Fang.

Others laughed and agreed or disgreed, placed bets, or just gossiped.

The black-clad theif sighed. "Whatever, let's just get this over with."

"Alrighty Giz, start the movie!"

He little genius screamed 'don't call me that' but started the video regardless of his annoyance.

The screen went from black to a blinding white:

_The camera unfocused on the white and zoomed out. The white turned out to be a wall. The camera then turned from the wall to a young teen with black hair and eyes covered by light blue-tinted sunglasses. He was in hospital-patient clothes and standing near a bed. _

_"Hey, um, if you're watching this video and I've left it to you, then you should know who I am." _

_He cleared his throat awkwardly and took a deep calming breath. _

_"W-what I have to say... it isn't easy. It's one of the biggest secrets I have and the only reason I'm telling you is beacuse I __**have **__to, not because I want to. It's personal..." _

_He rung his hands together nervously. _

_"I don't even..." He trailed off. _

_"I don't really know how to say this in a way that won't cause panic. I guess I'll just say it first, allow it to sink in._

_"I'm..." _

Johnny crossed his fingers chanting 'gay, gay, gay...' under his breath.

_He took another deep breath, held it in his chest and clawed his nails into his palms. _

_"...I'm HIV Positive." _

The room fell completely silent, except for those who had drinks and were now either spitting them out of their mouths or choking on them.

_"I know that a lot of people have HIV, that it's not such a horrible thing to live with anymore, but, I also know that people would treat me different if I told them. I've been to the support groups, I've heard stories from people; even their families didn't want to sit where they sat, afraid that they would catch the HIV virus." _

_He sighed and put his face in his hands for a few seconds, then looked back up with a sorrowful expression. _

_"I know that it's not good for the person I am, the influence I have on people, for anyone to know that I'm HIV positive. I-I'm supposed to do the right thing, be this 'idol', this image of the good. I can't be..._

_"I can't be someone who makes a mistake, even if I couldn't help it. In the eyes of those judging I shouldn't even be having sex before marriage, let alone at thirteen." _

Many villains were once again choking on drinks.

_"It's been a couple of years since I've been infected. I'm fifteen now and I'm making this video before I leave Gotham." _

_He was silent again, thinking something over; his head bowed. _

_"I couldn't get in his way... He knows about it, everything. He tries to help me, but I only hold him back. I don't want him to think he has to take care of me or anything. I can take care of myself." _

_He brought his head up again. _

_"This is my problem, I have to deal with it. I know what I have to do - the frequent doctor visits, the pills and making sure they still work on me, keeping clean and hygenic, using protection or not doing anything at all... _

_"I don't want to infect anyone. I... who I got it from, she just fell apart when she realized that she was HIV positive and that she gave it to me. It wasn't her fault, I know it wasn't, I don't blame her; afterall, some jerk gave it to her without her knowlege either. And at least she told me when she found out." _

_He chuckled nervously, then sighed. _

_"She's not doing that well. She's making a video like this too. Telling friends, boyfriends, whatever, why she's like this. Doctors are trying to help her pull through. I'm here so they can make sure I'm doing okay. _

_"Alice, I hope you'll be alright. I care about you." _

_Sadness. This girl was clearly important to him, despite the fact that she gave him the AIDS virus. _

_"Chances are I'll be updating this video. So, until then." _

_He did a small, mock-salute to the camera. _

_It went black for a moment but fired up again._

_Robin was older now, he looked his age right now. He was coughing and breathing hard. He was no longer in a hospital room, but looked like he was in a bedroom, as he was sitting on a bed - his or an extra, they'll never know. _

_"A lot of the medication doesn't work anymore. The ones that do have - cough - horrendous side-effects - cough - like-" _

_He cut himself off and reached for a small garbage can emptied his stomach contents into it. _

The scene making a few people in the room turn green.

_He dry-heaved when he could no longer hack up anything else, coughing again. _

_"I hate these fucking side-effects!" He panted, grabbing a random pill bottle from a pile that was on the bed. _

_"One of the worst ones. Side effects may include: Nausea, headache, rash, stomach pain, vomiting, diarrhea, depression, changes in heart rhythm" he read off the bottle. He picked up another one. _

_"Fatigue, nausea, weakness, insomnia..." _

_He picked up another one and scanned it, "numbness". _

_His stomach must have lurched because he suddenly pressed against it with one arm and grabbed the can again with the other, wanting to throw up but once again only coming up with coughs._

_"My - gulp - my T-cell count is so low, it's almost at the level of AIDS. I need a doctor. I'm going to make an appointment with a doctor in Gotham and look for new drugs, or even experimental ones. - Cough -" _

_He doubled over coughing, dry-heaving again. _

_"I turned on the camera, did an update again, not because I wanted to depress you - cough - but because I wanted to show you how bad this really is. I have to leave, have to find a treatment. But I don't want you to think this was random. I wanted you to know what I'm going through, see what I have to put up with... If nothing works, if I don't respond to any treatment, I'm probably not going to be coming home..."_

_He paused, looking depressed into the camera,. _

_"I'm sorry. I really am. I couldn't tell you before, you guys would have just worried. - cough - And there was nothing any of you could do. Please don't be angry. I really am sorry." _

_The screen went blank again, for the final time._

* * *

_**So, anyone expect that? I have an idea for next few chapters - including going into more detail about Robin and Alice. But if people are like me and aren't fond of OCs (which I guess she'd be for this story?) then I'll put a warning on the chapter: this is Past-Robin x OC, blah blah blah. Sound good? **  
_

_**Tell me what you think? :) **_


End file.
